April 20th, 2010 (04:12 pm)
I'm feeling: : awake
It's been over two years since I've written anything here. Let's see... in the last two years I moved from long beach, got a new job at a lighting company, was rear ended by an 18 wheeler, lost a dear friend, lost my father, visited Indiana and met an internet friend IRL that I had been talking to off and on for 5+ years, fell in love w/ said friend, got laid off from lighting company job, decided to move to Indiana.
That brings us up to about last fall. Late August I packed up the truck and Rob and I drove straight through from California to Indiana. I moved in with a woman a few years older than me that breeds labradors and it's been pretty nice. I love love love Indiana. I love the weather, the seasons, the people, the corn, the trees, the rivers and hills... it's amazing. I keep saying how much I love Indiana and how much I just want to give Indiana a great big hug. Being with Rob has been everything I dreamed it would be and more. I have never been so in love and cared about a person so completely before. I never knew I <i>could</i> care about someone this way before. It truly has been and continues to be a life changing experience
Moving to Indiana has allowed me to enjoy life a little bit more. Things are a little more laid back but still interesting and I have had the opportunity to become more involved in speaking and figure out what I want to do rather than what I have to do to make ends meet. Right now I get to work with LGBT youth and that is just so rewarding.
Living life without having my dad there to call and ask his opinion on things has been so challenging and probably the hardest thing to get used to especially since I've had so many life changing events happen.
From the day I met Rob in person, all the feelings I had prior were validated. Things just fit so well and I was so comfortable with him, and yet every time I see him I get butterflies in my stomach. Though I have ambivalent thoughts on the whole institution of "marriage", I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with this person and am so tickled that he feels the same way.
I thought I knew what love was and what being "in" love meant. I can't believe I had no idea.
more to follow... shortly :)